Rocky and/or Bullwinkle

Something that has been weighing heavily on my mind these last couple of weeks: not this:

Everyone knows that there honestly really actually is such a thing as the existence of truly real flying squirrels. But what the heck is a Bullwinkle? There is no such thing as a Bullwinkle, except in that stupid cartoon, "Rocky and Bullwinkle, or... Why the Heck Am I Watching TV on Saturday When I Could be Asleep and/or Outside." And don't start sentences with and, or tell me that Bullwinkle is a Moose, because moose is not a proper name. I mean, IF Bullwinkle is a moose, and that is a pretty big if, unlike the last if or the one after that, then riddle me this: where is the dewlap?

Rule number one in claiming that something is and/or be a moose: Always account for the dewlap.

The above story is my story and I'm sticking to the aforementioned story.