Today:

1) I found a hefty brownie crumb lodged (lodging, rather) on my keyboard between J, K and I.

2) I got it out with two pens—one with a cap and one with a clicker (a to be clicked, rather).

3) I chose not to eat it (even though the rest was good).

4) other

Eleventh Part of a Twenty-Six Part Series

Part Eleven*:

K

"K" stands for kohlrabi, which means "a vegetable related to the cabbage, with an edible, turniplike stem." Unfortunately, it could easily be overheard as "coal rabbi," which means "a black, combustible Jewish teacher used as fuel" and poses a significant risk of attracting unwanted attention from entrepreneurial Klansmen. Incidentally, this is the only occurence of the "word" turniplike in the dictionary.

*Latin for "two."

Meet the New Pants, Same as the Old Pants

...except for this whole "pre-worn" fad that we're still dealing with.

My left knee was getting cold so I bought some new jeans for it, but now I look like I have to pee a lot.

Amazing Tattoo Idea #2

Spanish 102 Workbook/Laboratory Manual being eaten by a shark

Five Minutes Ago

Chris: "Wait, what are you guys talking about?"
TG: "The Guitar Hero competition. Have you heard about it?"
Chris: "No."
TG: "Dub, tell him about it."
Dub: "Well, there's going to be a Guitar Hero competition..."
Chris: "Yeah, I heard about that."

A Valentine's Message from Dave Barry

"The discovery that the Valentine heart resembles the prostate gland and not the human heart has MAJOR implications, and not just for people who play bridge (I bid three prostates). It also means that there are thousands, perhaps millions, of hairy men walking around with the word 'Mom' tattooed on a picture of a prostate gland."

Amazing Tattoo Idea #1

New Hampshire license plate

Tenth Part of a Twenty-Six Part Series

Part Ten*:

J

"J" stands for Jack-a-dandy, which means "a little dandy; a little, foppish, impertinent fellow." That's exactly what it should mean.

*binary for three

Dent

You should have stopped.

You’ll be telling yourself that for a while, until time fades today into distant gray. But today—today is stark black and white. Today the locked front door will frustrate you to tears before you remember the keys still in the ignition, the car still running.

“I hit a deer,” you’ll say. That will explain the dent. That will explain why your arms won’t stop shaking. He’ll pull you close, hold you tight. “There’s nothing you could’ve done,” he’ll say. “Let’s be glad no one’s hurt.”

And that much is true. It has to be true.

Does This Guy Have the Coolest Address (dot blogspot dot com)?

Hey.

I think I can change this blog's URL.

Should I try?

p.s. This has been a readership poll.

Quote of the Day

"That guy is the man." - Jesse Davis

Portrait of a Killer