Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Finals Rule

Don't get me wrong, I love final exams just as much as the next guy. The thing you have to remember is that the "next guy" would condemn finals to hell if he could. In fact, I think I heard him doing just that last night, but obviously to no avail, considering that I just took a 185 question ScanTron (2.0) test today. WTF is Scantron anyway? Whatever happened to filling in the bubble? Those stupid little "rect-angles" are making my ganglion cyst flair up. And another thing... no, they don't.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

This doesn't include cows and it isn't a lie, so I think it is good to go. Mostly don't read this, and actually read the sign in the picture.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Um... I do to still blog, so "euh" on you

I don't know what you're talking about, I blog all the time. I blog three (3) times a week, sometimes twice (2ice?) in a (one) day.

Lark News is ha-freaking-larious, especially to a youth group nerd, er... stud, like myself.

So, ima go at this point of our story.

Oh, and don't worry, if Stella could do it, I'll be just fine.

Monday, November 15, 2004

I think that this is the best drawing ever, except, if you look carefully, Shre der's left arm is a little bit longer than his right (your left). If you don't look too carefully they are the same length, as my previous sentence's structure implies.

Rocky and/or Bullwinkle

Something that has been weighing heavily on my mind these last couple of weeks: not this:

Everyone knows that there honestly really actually is such a thing as the existence of truly real flying squirrels. But what the heck is a Bullwinkle? There is no such thing as a Bullwinkle, except in that stupid cartoon, "Rocky and Bullwinkle, or... Why the Heck Am I Watching TV on Saturday When I Could be Asleep and/or Outside." And don't start sentences with and, or tell me that Bullwinkle is a Moose, because moose is not a proper name. I mean, IF Bullwinkle is a moose, and that is a pretty big if, unlike the last if or the one after that, then riddle me this: where is the dewlap?

Rule number one in claiming that something is and/or be a moose: Always account for the dewlap.

The above story is my story and I'm sticking to the aforementioned story.

Friday, November 12, 2004

I wonder if the artist had any sense of satisfaction with this work when it was finally complete. Further analysis to come.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Other than the part labeled "soup," I think I beat all of these guys in a Final Fantasy game once.
P.S. I am not racist, nor am I ethnocentric, so get out of my kitchen all you angry college freshmen! And get off of my earth dang Chinese!

The Question Mark Deserves Its Own Key

so i was totally readin this grrls blog and she wuz like wut RU doin and i wuz all like o nothin just readin ur blog and she wuz like kk ttyl :)
(and) That was when I decided that I hate grrls in general. Girls are cool, but grrls have just got to go. Also, hate is a strong word.

k luv ya!
dc with the tg in the nn

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Have you ever laughed so hard that milk came out of your nose?

That happened to me the other day. It kind of sucks because it stings and because I can think of a thousand better uses for milk than shooting it through your nasal cavity and all over your new dress. Dress shoes that is. I am a guy so I don't wear dresses. Not that there is anything wrong with a guy wearing dresses, but that's messed up.

The weird part is that I wasn't drinking milk at the time.

Sunday, October 31, 2004

This is my friend... we'll call him "Josh." If Josh had the body of the girl on that poster because he was a girl we would still be friends, but it would be one of those awkward friendships because I would secretly be in love with him... I mean her, crap, why didn't I just hit delete and fix it to him... I mean her, crap. If only I could gather the courage to confess my love to Josh as a girl, crap... I mean as a guy... no wait I think I screwed that one up.

remember That One time ? or !

The exclaimation mark sucks! I hate it and I hate everyone who uses it. But here comes the (very) weird part... Those first two sentences are UNRELATED. I think that the band that is called They Might Be Giants said it best when they said it best. They said, "I was thinking of an unrelated thing." Actually, looking back, I think I said it best when I said, "I hate it and I hate everyone."
Who uses it!

or Treat, Trick

Yeah, so I really hate it when I begin my sentences with yeah. That's why I did not begin that last sentence with a yeah.

Yeah, so my brother is here today so I am going to leave now, without really typing anything of sub stance.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

As I said before, there is nothing funny about this picture, and we are not going to talk about it.

What's round on the sides and high in the middle?


On originality or on origins of origami

Okay, on one occasion our only other option ostensibly omitted oregano over onions operating outside overt orbit of otherworldly objects. So we used wild marjoram instead, which is another word for a member of the vervain family.

Abadee abadee abadee that's it.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

This is only a joke

Knock knock...

What are you looking at?

this blog intentionally left blank

I am obviously in love with myself

Wow, I have a blog that no one will read, except me.

If you are reading this, and you are not me, then go away, you are not welcome in this relationship, and you are making me nervous.

P.S. I am really a neat guy. You should get to know me so that you will know the coolest guy ever. I'm crazy buff too, and athletic, and I have a great personality, and everyone likes me except for stupid people that nobody likes. Like you... if you don't like me. Also I am super humble.

How many do you want, you friggin misanthrope is a long word?

So one time I was listening to Cake, and eating it too, and then that never really happened but I thought it would be funny to lie, and now I know that it is never funny to lie. Get it?

Oh yeah, cows... they really are not that funny either, so there will be no further lies or mention of cows from this... from that point on.

Okay, Love Ya' Bye!