Thursday, April 27, 2006

Eye Kneed Too Bee Moore Carful

I'm not really sure what "butter irony" is, but I know it doesn't belong in my American Novel critical analysis essay.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Things that Blow

Heavy winds, light breezes and wind patterns inbetween

Oscillating fans


American Novel critical analysis papers on Invisible Man due tomorrow morning

Friday, April 21, 2006

I Seem to have Gotten Ahead of Myself

I think... yeah, I think I'll get something accomplished today.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I spent a few days in Arkansas last weekend, and let me tell you, it was real nice to be in a place where Jesus is Lord. I'm thinking I might start a petition to elect Jesus as Lord of a local city, it was so great. I really felt touched by that sign, and by Jesus' Lordship in Siloam Springs.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

We Put Mother Nature in a Home, take two

The modern shady tree beside a lazy brook
Is a five-ounce contraption with a color display,
Or, if you’re serious about it,
A contemplative rock,
Assuming you’re lucky enough to run across one
On the race to work, or class, or distraction.

But there’s just nothing fashionable about rocks—
Even our paperweights
Come in etched glass and silver plate.

My parents are too cute.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

A Cute Little Post or, A Reader Sits in with Two Guns at a Weekly Session

I came here to espouse that obtuse is a stupid word and should only be used in mathematical and scientific references, but then I looked up expouse, my first attempt at spelling espouse, and discovered that I really don't know how to use it in a sentence, but since I signed in I might as well say something.

I think obtuse is a wonderful word and it ought to be used more often.

Please watch closely as until-now-obscure reviewer Brian Seiler from Kingwood, Texas uses the word obtuse in a real-life setting, describing the band Cake's most recent release, Pressure Chief:

"On the whole, this is a different, more mature, less obtuse effort for Cake--the metaphors here aren't nearly as thickly obfuscated as those that you find on their previous efforts." - Brian Seiler (emphasis added).

Such adjectival mastery.

Actually, I think this would be a good time to stop and think about the word "obfuscated" for a moment.

hmm... obfuscated.

You might think that I inadvertently deleted a vowel from that word, but the root word, obfuscate, is actually part of a small-but-growing movement within the English language, in cooperation with a, e, i, o, u and, sometimes, y, to bring b and f together, with the hope that their familiarity will eventually lead to the formation of a new letter (which I lack the key to display) and, along with it, a host of new curse words that will be really difficult, and therefore very satisfying, to say.

Anyway, as I was saying, obtuse... wow. And not just obtuse, but obtuser and obtusest, respectively. Amazing.

Okay, I am going to be honest, this really all started because I wanted to make fun of Brian Seiler, which isn't really fair, because it isn't right to make fun of someone just because he or she (in this case, he) has a larger vocabulary than you do. So why don't you just leave the guy alone. Seriously, lay off, alright?

In fact, why don't you get a bflippin' dictionary and maybe learn something new in the process? I mean, who makes fun of a guy for what he says on Get a life.

Alright, alright, I'm not mad, I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed, is all. You're better than this. I know you are. Now, pick yourself up, dust off your jeans, maybe put them in the wash sometime soon (maybe toss your pillow case in there too... it's been awhile...) and go get something to eat.

Yeah, you get 'em, tiger.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Murder on the Panda Express

I heard a loud crinkling noise in the alley, and when I came around the corner... when I came around the corner they were just, ripping them in half, like... like they were fortune cookies or something, and the slips of paper... my goodness the paper... it was everywhere...