Friday, November 28, 2008

A Thanksgiven Menu

Pumpkin pie for breakfast. Turkey for everything else, ever.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Facebook Chat that Just Happened

TG [11:15pm]
hey how come you look like that lady? that's weird and so are you

Matthew [11:15pm]
thats my sister


TG [11:16pm]
her name is bits?

as in, kibbles and?

if I'd only known, I could have started calling you kibbles a long time ago

Matthew [11:17pm]


my sister's name is martha

I don't know why I typed bits

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Oh Hey Hole in the Crotch of My Jeans

Oh, hey hole in the crotch of my jeans, when did you get here?

Were you planning to say hello, or were you just gonna see how long it took me to notice?

Uh huh, and how long did it take?

For a lot of reasons, hole. Just tell me.

Well I thought I'd hear you coming, for one thing. Does anyone else know you're here?

How is that a weird question?

Okay, okay, forget it. So... was there something you needed or...?

Well, yeah sure, but I've got to go get a new pair of jeans, so you'll have to come along.

Seriously, hole, how long have you been here?

Okay, fine, forget it.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Say Hello to the New Title

Because "Oh yeah, I just remembered."

Friday, November 07, 2008

Don't Buy Fundraiser Chocolate Bars for a Dollar

They are gross. Just donate the dollar. Dollars are cheap.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Do the Apricot Jam

Apricot jam on my hand.
On my hoodie, near the zipper.
On the counter.
On my hoodie, again, right pocket.
Left shoulder, too.
And once more, on my hand.
Where else, on my hoodie,
Apricot jam?