Tuesday, April 04, 2006

A Cute Little Post or, A Reader Sits in with Two Guns at a Weekly Session

I came here to espouse that obtuse is a stupid word and should only be used in mathematical and scientific references, but then I looked up expouse, my first attempt at spelling espouse, and discovered that I really don't know how to use it in a sentence, but since I signed in I might as well say something.

I think obtuse is a wonderful word and it ought to be used more often.

Please watch closely as until-now-obscure Amazon.com reviewer Brian Seiler from Kingwood, Texas uses the word obtuse in a real-life setting, describing the band Cake's most recent release, Pressure Chief:

"On the whole, this is a different, more mature, less obtuse effort for Cake--the metaphors here aren't nearly as thickly obfuscated as those that you find on their previous efforts." - Brian Seiler (emphasis added).

Such adjectival mastery.

Actually, I think this would be a good time to stop and think about the word "obfuscated" for a moment.

hmm... obfuscated.

You might think that I inadvertently deleted a vowel from that word, but the root word, obfuscate, is actually part of a small-but-growing movement within the English language, in cooperation with a, e, i, o, u and, sometimes, y, to bring b and f together, with the hope that their familiarity will eventually lead to the formation of a new letter (which I lack the key to display) and, along with it, a host of new curse words that will be really difficult, and therefore very satisfying, to say.

Anyway, as I was saying, obtuse... wow. And not just obtuse, but obtuser and obtusest, respectively. Amazing.

Okay, I am going to be honest, this really all started because I wanted to make fun of Brian Seiler, which isn't really fair, because it isn't right to make fun of someone just because he or she (in this case, he) has a larger vocabulary than you do. So why don't you just leave the guy alone. Seriously, lay off, alright?

In fact, why don't you get a bflippin' dictionary and maybe learn something new in the process? I mean, who makes fun of a guy for what he says on Amazon.com? Get a life.

Alright, alright, I'm not mad, I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed, is all. You're better than this. I know you are. Now, pick yourself up, dust off your jeans, maybe put them in the wash sometime soon (maybe toss your pillow case in there too... it's been awhile...) and go get something to eat.

Yeah, you get 'em, tiger.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pretty bfucking funny post, TG.

Oh, maybe that's not really a "new" curse word. Sorry, I'm wasting everyone's bfu%$ing time.

Son of a bfitch, there I go again!

Two Guns said...

You are a potty mouth. Also, you are funny. I'm glad I know you.

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't that be "bfilthy mouth"?

Two Guns said...

Tommyhawk, since you seem to be new here, Ima let that one slide, but let's not forget who is and who is not always right at the coolest address dot blogspot dot com.