"Where Even Our Food is Fried"

Yesterday I walked into a KFC/A&W, a combination of, you guessed it, KFC and A&W. The idea for the merger came a few years ago when the last A&W went out of business in a mall food court somewhere and they still had hot dogs and mustard packets left over.

"What can I get for you, boss?" says the guy behind the counter.

After taking a few minutes to look over the menu (and a few seconds to laugh about having been called "boss"), I say, "I'll have a hot dog, a small thing of potato wedges, and a root beer float."

"Do you want me to make it a combo?"

"Um... you can do that?"

"Yeah."

(Well, that explains the offer.) "Sure, whatever's easiest."

"All right, so you want a hot dog, potato wedges, and what to drink?"

"A root beer float."

I watch my order come up one selection at a time.

HOT DOG (1)
POTATO WEDGES SM (1)
AQUAFINA (1)

"Um, I actually wanted a root beer float."

"What?"

"I ordered a root beer float, not an Aquafina."

"Oh, don't worry about it, it's the same thing."

"Uh..."

"They cost the same, but we like to drink the Aquafina's when we're working, so this helps balance everything out when we do the inventory."

"Oh, working the system..." (a wording choice that implies, "you could get fired for this").

"Yeah, it helps work out the system." (a wording choice that implies, "it's technical, but you seem to understand").

"All right."

"I can change it if you want."

"No, don't worry about it."

"Okay," he says," what's your name for the order?"

I almost say "the only customer in here," but settle on "Drew."

"Drew? Okay Drew, here's your cup and I'll call you when the rest of your order's ready."

He walks away and I'm left looking at the cup.

"..." (That's me looking at the cup.)

"Did you need something else, boss?"

"Um... actually I wanted a root beer float."

"A root beer float? Oh, that'll be a dollar extra."