A Misunderstanding at Work: Ordering Boxes

"That girl who takes your order, she can be pretty scary."

"She seemed nice to me."

"Yeah, okay maybe she does on the phone, but I'll tell you this, she's covered from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet in tattoos. When you get there you'll see what I mean."

"Oh, well, I was just gonna have them deliver. Where are they located?"

"Uhh... I've only seen the ones that are exposed."

You Must Not Know 'Bout Me

Facebook,

We all know that you glean personal information from my account profile and use it to target advertising directly at me. But seriously, "Are you tired of jeans?" Come on, Facebook, you know I'm not in a relationship.

Breaking the Silence

The worst part about accidentally peeing on yourself is the pee.